Favorite albums of 2009

I thought this would be a good place to preserve my 2009 lists. It feels like this may be out of place, but I don't really care.

This was a really big year for me and new music. It might go down as one of the best years of my life for new releases, hence the rather large honorable mention catagory...

Honorable mentions in no particular order:

New Albums by Prefuse 73, Dead Man's Bones, Fuck Buttons, The Raveonettes, Grizzly Bear, Converge, Mt. Eerie, Andrew Bird, The Dodos, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Sufjan Stevens, Heavy Trash, The Flaming Lips, and Lightning Dust.

Favorites:

15. YACHT - See Mystery Lights

This barely made it to where it is. You could probably switch it out for any of my honorable mention picks, but it is here because I've listened to it a few times more than any of those.

14. Dizzee Rascal - Tongue in Cheek

Dizzee should be in my top five of the year. This album is still good, but it is obviously not the work of someone concerned with perfection. Dizzee is getting distracted by all that money he made with his last three amazing records. (Impressive that he made it into my top 15 with a mediocre effort, though)

13. St. Vincent - Actor

This would be higher if it was a "best of" list. I liked it a lot, and it showed some great talent, it just didn't get as many listens as it deserved.

12. Decemberists - Hazards of Love

I thought this album was the years best when it came out early this year. It had some stiff competition and lacked a little in staying power, but damn it was good live. And the Double Vinyl is certainly still a proud member of our collection.

11. Magnolia Electric Co - Josephine

A sad album honoring the death of Jason Molina's close friend Josephine. I'm a sucker for eulogy records.

10. The Thermals - Now We Can See

I think this album proved to me that even pop-punk, if done tastefully and creatively, can be listenable. My inner 13 year old is satisfied, but won't be complete until ska gets the chance to prove its value to 25 year old Joe.

9. Built to Spill - There is No Enemy

Local dudes delivered their best album in years.

8. Shelley Short - A Cave, A Canoo

This might be here because it was in our car stereo for half the year and I have every song memorized. But even so, it made it to the 8th spot of the list by being able to survive in the stereo for as long as it did.

7. Dan Deacon - Bromst

Reptile Rumble will be spinning this one till its grooves are demolished.

6. Clem Snide - Hungry Bird

"I can't find comfort in the fact that it could be worse." Diana lives by that line.

5. Mewithoutyou - It's All Crazy, It's All False, It's All a Dream, It's Alright!

Mewithoutyou has finally written praise music that doesn't sound trite, cliche, or forced. This is a fully Christian album that stands up on it's own feet. You don't have to say "this record is good, for a Christian band," it is just good on its own. Who knew that was possible?

4. Yo La Tengo - Popular Songs

I love Yo La Tengo. They make me happy. They could put me in a guitar fuzz daze any day of the week.

3. Megafaun - Gather, Form & Fly

This album makes it this high on my list because of how addicting it is. The songs are incredibly memorable and their ability to do something new with the Americana/Folk genre makes me excited for their future output. I listened to this album hundreds of times this summer.

2. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion

These dudes are probably in my top three artists of all time list. I just think what they are doing in electronic music will never be matched by anyone else. All I need to say to describe their album is that I believe they are my generation's version of the Beatles. (The Beatles in the sense of songwriting and creativity, obviously not in the sense of affecting pop culture.)

1. David Bazan - Curse Your Branches

David Bazan's most honest and abrasive album yet. I wrote a blog after the first few listens of this album that sums up my thoughts. This album will make you laugh, cry, and feel dead inside. It is incredibly moving, and has probably changed my life.

Christmas Trees For Sale

This story begins as the sun goes down on a stale, cold November night. The type of night where everything in the world seems to have a grey tint, and you hit every red light on your way home from work. A woman pulls her old Lumina mini-van into a dirt lot. The sun is now far enough covered in the horizon that her headlights are on, but aren't doing much. Only letting others on the road know of her vehicle's presence. As she pulls into the lot her wheels roll through the ruts made by the many cars and trucks that have preceded her. She avoids the bigger potholes concealed by tan, muddy puddles left by yesterday's rain. The tires make an all-too-familiar crackling sound as they kick up gravel while pulling into the closest parking spot she could find. She puts the car in park and lets out a long disheartened sigh as she turns the key to kill the engine. The front door of the van swings open. She steps out and looks closely at the giant inflatable Santa Claus with his right hand up and his gaze set upward as if he was waving hello to someone in the sky. From the road she couldn't see the mud splattered on him by traffic or the grey water spots left by the rain. Close-up, the big, bright Santa is just as bleak as the world around her.

In this part of the country, the holiday season is less of a white Winter wonderland, and more of a muddy, grey mess. The sun is too cold to warm the surface, but just warm enough to keep all precipitation from freezing. Even when the snow falls on the city, it just melts into slush in the daytime, then freezes into ice in the evening. Although its effect isn't universal throughout the city, the weather takes a heavy toll on the population's mood. It's hard to find a more depressing time to visit. People act as if a stranger is their enemy instead of an unknown neighbor. Dogs are kicked, children are harshly shushed, and spouses are given cold shoulders. Houses are still decorated with lights, but they are merely a facade. The colors adorned in trees and across rain gutters are an attempt to hide the dismay that the weather and holiday stress build in the minds of the people living within the walls of the decorated homes. The sigh that the women let out as she turned off her mini-van is a regular occurrence in most homes on most days between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The woman has decided to pick up her family's Christmas tree on the way home from work. Her husband will be thrilled to avoid the slow selection process. Her children will probably cry because they wanted to help find the perfect tree. Finding the perfect tree is the last thing on her mind. In fact, she is tempted to grab the first one she sees and run with it. Throwing it into the back of her van, then speeding off into the stark, overcast sunset. Of course, that won't happen. Part of the holiday stress is the need to make Christmas morning look and feel as romantic as everybody expects it to be. She walks down the path, using a keen eye to find the tree that is the right height and with the least amount of unsightly blemishes. As she stops to get a closer look at a possible candidate a man on his cellphone brushes past her in a hurry, knocking her purse to the ground. He looks back and mouths sorry while continuing to move away into the parking lot. She bends over to pick up her purse, telling off the man with the cellphone in the privacy of her own mind.

As the sun begins to fade completely out of sight and darkness starts to settle on the city, the Christmas tree dealer brings out floodlights. The Santa Claus inflatable begins to glow, causing his cheeks to become even more red than before. Those in the road can now easily make out the dirt and mud specks all over his body. The floodlights light up the trees better than the sun, giving the woman a better view of what the tree will look like in the artificial light of her living room. She begins to smile as she walks around the lot, still searching for the right tree.

After finding her perfect Christmas tree, the woman walks up to the camper where the tree dealer has a cashbox ready. There is a campfire burning to the left of the woman with two teen boys surrounding it. She gives the man a credit card and he walks up the steps into the camper. One of the two boys looks over at the woman and they connect eyes for a few seconds. His chapped lips move into the form of a forced smile. The woman looks away. She tries to remember the number tied to one of the tree's branches. She tells them the number and they begin to walk in the direction of the tree to help load it into her car. One of the boys playfully kicks the other underneath his foot as he walks, causing him to trip up a bit. They let out a few laughs and begin talking quietly to one another. They get about halfway to the parking lot before the man comes out to tell the woman that her card had been declined. He says he ran it twice and it declined each time. He tells her that he doesn't take checks.

She didn't have any cash, so the boys had to return the tree to its original spot with the others. After it was back in place, they returned to their spots by the fire, staring at the flickering colors. The woman decided to just go home. No need to call the credit card company, she knew they must have gone over their limit last weekend while shopping for Christmas gifts. She wasn't stressed about the card declining, they had the money to pay it off, she just wished that her last minute decision to buy a tree had worked out. She wanted some time at the end of her day to just relax. To forget the stress of the season. To cross another item off of her endless holiday to-do list. The wheels of her Lumina crackled out of the parking lot. The giant, glowing Santa waved goodbye to the sky as she drove out of the lot and down the street.

The woman wouldn't return to the dirt lot to buy her Christmas tree. Instead, the next day while cruising the clearance aisle at Shopko she noticed a different sort of perfect tree. One that could permanently cross the Christmas tree off of her holiday to-do list. This perfect tree was made of metal, wire and nylon. It did not have a trunk nor did it shed needles. She did not need to water the tree, because it was not living. At the end of the Christmas season it fit perfectly back into the cardboard box it lived in before being purchased. The manufacturer would say that the tree was immortal, but in fact the tree was dead, and the box was it's coffin. She could throw out the old, metal tree stand that had been used since before the children were born. The woman kept the tree skirt, but it's function became fashion.

The tree that she had chosen at the dirt lot was never purchased. It became firewood for the Christmas tree salesman and the teen boys he employed. It gave them warmth during breaks from cleaning up the lot they temporarily inhabited. The giant, inflatable Santa Claus waved goodbye as he deflated to the ground. Soon enough, the dirt lot was empty again. The trailer that the salesman lived in for three cold, Winter weeks crackled away, and a sign on the property that said "for sale" took it's rightful place, where Santa stands each Christmas season.

The Plague, Farenheit 451, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Stitches, Pygmy, Invisible Man

Despite my lack of posts, I've still been reading. I'm posting this so that I remember which books I have read and will possibly still write about some day.

Darkness at Noon

I read Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler a few weeks ago. For some reason I didn't feel like writing an immediate response to it. Probably because I felt like whenever I write about a book immediately after finishing it I tend to feel rushed and not able to clearly communicate what I thought of the complete work, but just a minute part that intrigued me. I was going to wait a day or two, but then kept putting it off until now. Hopefully I can remember enough about it to make sense.

Darkness at Noon is a novel about a former revolutionist who is arrested by the government he helped to gain power. It is set in Communist Russia in between the first and second world wars. The whole of the novel is set in a jail cell, but the main character, Rubashov, frequently daydreams about his part in the revolution and the significant things that led to his arrest. Knowing that Koestler was a former Communist who had become disillusioned with the movement after the Stalinist show trials (of which the main character is a victim) and other detestable practices perpetrated by the Soviet government makes this novel something of a historical fiction and less of a literary exploration of ideas. I am certainly more used to novels having less to do with the setting and more about the general theme, but I believe this book did have a theme that can be explored further than just taking the story at face value.

The theme I was most interested with was the suppression of ideas for the sake of a movement. The reason that Rubashov was arrested was that he disagreed with how the communist government was being handled by "Number 1"(the name given to Stalin in the novel). He had no plans to overthrow the government or assassinate the leader, but his objection to policy was enough to have him arrested and sentenced to execution. Much of the story is focused on the methods of coercion and interrogation used to convince Rubashov to admit to false accusations, giving the novel another theme (probably more prominent than the one I am addressing) of how a imprisoned and hopeless person reacts to an antagonist. Like I said, I am more interested in how the government reacts to dissent than I am the confined person.

Basically the idea that interested me was that the Russian government (and that style of communism in general) had an ideal that they wished to achieve. This ideal was a sort of utopia where all are equal in economic circumstance and workload. The problem was that they believed that it took forcing people into much worse economic conditions and much harder labor in order to eventually reach this ideal society. It reminds me of the double-speak in Orwell's 1984, war is peace, love is hate, etc. "Number 1" had his idea of how to accomplish his ideal and that was through making all who were in the country submit to his values and principals through force. Only by overpowering the people will they eventually realize that his way to achieve equality was the correct way. Only through enslavement and suffering would they be beaten enough to know his way is the correct way. It is a very logical and reasonable method, despite it being completely inhumane and during the conditioning of the people the opposite of the utopia he wishes to achieve. This is what interests me. Is it okay to do something negative if it achieves something more positive than the former action was negative.

For example, say you are a soldier at war, and a man in your sights has a trigger for an offsite bomb. This bomb is going to kill many people (Lets say they are also soldiers, not innocent bystanders). Now, you don't believe in killing, even killing the enemies you are fighting in this war (you were drafted into the military). Would it be okay for you to take on this sin of killing so that the other man doesn't sin himself and kill many people. Obviously his sin has much greater consequences than yours. You are taking one life, he is taking many. Does that make your lesser sin a worthwhile one? If you let him live, do you take some of the responsibility for the lives of those he will kill, or does the responsibility lie solely with him? We all know what our answer to this question is. Being a pacifist, I would say that I wouldn't kill him, leaving myself clean and him responsible for his own actions. Others would say that they would share in the guilt if they didn't stop him from killing, and therefore decide that they would kill the man. There are good arguments on both sides, but the real question is: Which one of these is wrong and which one right?

The communist government believed in freedom of thought and freedom of ideas, but they thought the best way to get there was to restrict said freedom for a time until the revolution was completed and there were no biases based on past economic conditions. They believed that once the people were all rooted in equal experience and not biased by their unequal past, that they would all realize the merits of communism and then be able to keep their government accountable. Until then Number 1's ideas were the only ideas permitted to speak about. It is utilitarian ethics at it's core. The suffering that they caused for a short period of history is much less than the amount joy they will eventually bring. They were killing the lives of the present in order to save those in the future. Is that right? Say they were correct in their ideas and it actually worked. Would they still have blood on their hands?

I don't really have an answer to that question, but it sure is fun to think about.

Will there be a sunrise this Summer?

From the bathroom

I heard weeping

in the kitchen.

I knew before

this telling, uncontrollable

expression had occurred.

She was ready

and out the

door in moments.

The two were

gone and I

was left alone.

One will return,

the other goes

home to weep

with her husband

who can't help

but suffer unknowing

of the pain

the bearer of

children goes through.

God gave life

unexpected. He took

life without petition.

We ask, "Will

there be a

sunrise this Summer?"

David Bazan - Curse Your Branches

The Passion of David Bazan

If you read this blog post, I advise you to first read the article "The Passion of David Bazan" linked above. If you don't read that article, this post might make less sense than I would like it.

I read this article today, but by some cosmic coincidence already have the new David Bazan album "Curse Your Branches". The article is about David Bazan's recent abandonment of traditional Christianity and his venture into agnosticism. The album is a very poignant criticism of not only the Christian faith, but of the God who put us on this earth. I am assuming this album will scare away any more of the lingering conservative Christian fanbase that Bazan's former band Pedro the Lion has built and welcome a larger fanbase of "post-Christians" looking for someone who is writing from a doubtful standpoint without the pompous and judgmental language usually used to put down the Christian faith. Not to say that all Christians that were fans of Pedro the Lion won't appreciate this new album, just that those who are akin to listening to albums approved by Christian culture and deemed "uplifting" will certainly shy away from the dark and depressing content sung in "Curse Your Branches". I hope this doesn't happen, but it is bound to be what will happen based on lyrics like in the song Curse Your Branches: "if You bully her like you've done me with fear of damnation / Then I hope she can see You for what You are." Bazan is clearly not just exploring doubtful feelings, but actually calling out the God of pop-Christianity and asking for a fight.

I would just like to share what David Bazan's music has meant to me over the years and what his latest album has said to me. Here is a little bit of background on my experiences with Pedro the Lion (David Bazan's former monicker). I first started listening to him when Control came out. This was the first album of his to really shake up the Christian music world because it included songs about adultery in a hotel room, murder, a priest denouncing his faith, and worst of all in the last song he said the word "shit." So because I was a latecomer to his music I have never really seen him as some sort of goody-two-shoes who wrote praise music for the Christian consumer. I wasn't shocked or hurt when he released albums that said "fuck" or explored his doubts about the Christian religion. I have always thought his lyricism and music made a perfect balance and his art has influenced my life in a big way. He is one of the only musicians that I feel like I want to talk to, instead of just enjoy from afar.

The reason he has had such a large impact on my life is because of his sometimes brutal honesty about the world around him. He writes songs and albums about the parts of life that aren't always clean and that don't end very positively. He explored the pain that we see every day, and the sins that we try so hard to avoid but can't always keep off our backs. He said things like "Wouldn't it be so wonderful if everything were meaningless. But everything is so meaningful,and most everything turns to shit. Rejoice." What Christian author or musician has the guts to sum up their entire work with something so honest and gut wrenching? Some might say a Christian wouldn't do that, because that negativity about life isn't a very uplifting thing to ponder, but what Christian hasn't thought something similar without the rejoice at the end? Bazan wasn't scared to let the listener decide what they want about what to do when "most everything turns to shit". He didn't end the album with a promise of better days or an alternative way to stop bad things from happening, he just let it resonate in his listener. Thinking about things like that line is what has kept my faith in God so strong. I thought about how I could intercede in other's lives to stop everything from turning to shit. I thought about how rejoicing amidst the shit was a way to communicate your suffering to God. I've been spurred to think about trenches of life time and time again by countless Bazan lyrics over the years, and have been enriched and refined because of it. To me, a Pedro the Lion album is more spiritual than pretty much any other musicians work I can recall. It is honest and grating, unlike any praise song I could hear in a modern church that demands I sing along and agree instead of listen and respond. That is what his music and poetry has done for me, it gives me a chance to listen and respond to serious issues that I feel demand attention. Singing "I love you, Jesus" over and over again doesn't solve problems or grow faith, it merely gives you self-satisfaction or tells Jesus something he probably already knows is true (or not true). Sure, sometimes we need to say things like that, but those times aren't spiritual in my experience, they are merely emotional. Maybe I am just not at a point in my faith where I can be satisfied with "I Love you, Jesus". I am satisfied spiritually when I have the opportunity learn more about Him and His creation, which is one thing that David Bazan and other gritty and honest writers have given me.

So I guess I am not going to say too much about his latest album, but I will say that despite the fact that he no longer considers himself a Christian, he is still challenging me to interact deeper with God through his honest questioning and desire to understand more about the root of our existence. He still writes important words that demand our attention.

With this album he will very likely lose his Christian audience, and that is the saddest thing about his loss of faith. I think his soul is still fine, as he told the Cornerstone audience. I am not in fear that he will be damned for his doubts. The tragedy is that the Christian world still has a lot to learn from him, but will most likely shut him out after the release of this album.

The Sheltering Sky

I got A Canticle for Leibowitz and The Sheltering Sky from the library at the same time. I decided to read Leibowitz first because it was recommended from a friend. I found The Sheltering Sky while I was researching the life of William S. Burroughs (Author of Naked Lunch, the book I couldn't finish). I wasn't sure if I was still going to read it, because I thought the author would share too many similarities with William Burroughs, but I was wrong. The story is cohesive and easily understandable. Some things in it are a bit strange, but not disturbing like the visceral scenes in Naked Lunch. I looked back at what I had read about what the two authors had in common and found out that William Burroughs actually just moved to Tangier, Morocco because of Paul Bowles fiction. There was no reference to sharing any similarities in writing style.

With that said, I am glad I read it. It was an interesting book about a husband and wife travelling through North Africa. The couple is attempting t0 rekindle their marriage, but unsure if that is what either of them wants. It is complicated by the husband's inability to focus and the wife's constant strategizing for how to win her husband back.

The first two parts of the novel are set in cities where there are plenty of Westerners that the couple interact with on a regular basis. The third, and final, part of the book is a strange and intense journey into the Sahara Desert made by Kit (the wife). My interpretation of how the book is broken into sections is that each section is a different stage of the main characters' insanity. The first section shows the general social disorders that the husband and wife have, the second shows the couple become more and more unable to function regularly by putting them in crisis situations and showing their inability to logically solve their problems, while the third section of the novel is an exploration of post-traumatic insanity as viewed through Kit's eyes.

Having the book slowly move Southward throughout the downward spiral of madness was an interesting way to show the harshness of the African terrain and society. It is clearly seen in the novel that the further a Westerner gets from their own culture, the more vulnerable they are. By the end of the novel we are in a mostly untouched African culture that takes advantage of Kit's insanity and naivety, giving the perfect setting for the chaos that is happening in her mind. This had to be an intentional effect to help the reader truly feel the intensity of the character's mental state.

The book was very well written. I found his ability to describe both the natural world and his character's emotions and thoughts incredibly impressive. His writing style and language alone make the book worth reading.

All in all, I think the Sheltering Sky is a great book. It didn't give me any epiphanies or open up too much for interpretation or discussion, but it was definitely worth reading for the compelling story and the impressive prose.

A Canticle for Leibowitz

Wow. Merely minutes ago I finished A Canticle for Leibowitz (by Walter M. Miller Jr.). This was recommended to me by a friend and I had not heard anything about it before. Little did I know, it is considered by many readers and quite a few polls to be the best science fiction novel ever written. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and I was blown away. It is very different from what you would expect of a post apocalyptic science fiction novel. The author decided to focus the story on relationships, religion, and human nature in general. When I think of a story about a civilization after massive nuclear war, I think of a horror story filled with chase scenes and ominous mutants, not the canonization of the patron saint of electronics. Nor do I think of the reinvention of electricity or the re-emergence of a cold war. Frankly, there was so much meaning packed into this three part, three hundred page novel, that I don't even know what to write about.

I suppose I want to focus this entry on the theme of human nature and sin. There are several times when these themes are brought forward directly in the dialogue and there is also a general undercurrent of the themes going on throughout the novel. The direct references are usually in the form of a sermonette from an abbott to either a certain person or just directed at the world in general. The sermonettes usually invoke the horrors of "the flame deluge" (nuclear war) and are not focused on condemning the advancement of scientific research (the Albertan Order of Leibowitz regards properly practiced science as an act of worship), but they are actually focused on the condemnation of humankind's pride in their advancement.

I felt while reading the book that the author obviously was a student of scripture and Christian tradition based on his mature depiction of what sin was and how it worked in the character's lives. After lots of study and thought I came to the conclusion that I believe sin isn't found in action, inaction or even in thought. It is only found when our motives are selfish and our selfishness in some way affects those around us. I would say that the monks in A Canticle for Leibowitz would agree with this belief, and that Walter M. Miller Jr. probably has a similar understanding of what the traditional definition of sin truly is.

With that said, while reading A Canticle for Leibowitz, you see humans throughout the novel falling into the same trap that they fell into at the time of the nuclear war. I wanted to believe that after the initial time of anarchy after the blast, the world would realize that war and hate are not going to advance any civilization or solve any problems, but just result in the eventual destruction of humanity. That didn't happen in this novel. The survivors of the initial war all have the same, built-in flaws of the original humanity before the nuclear destruction. There was hope from some of the scientists in the second part of the novel that humanity had learned not to repeat history, but some characters also sincerely doubt humanity's ability to save itself and call upon God to miraculously save us from ourselves.

I feel that though the virtue of hoping for the best is important for the continuity of personal faith, it is in vain if you aren't aware of the necessity of intervention. Whether you are a stern atheist or fundamentally religious, I believe there is a sense we have where we naturally understand that intervention is necessary if we are to become truly moral and virtuous beings. Not necessarily the intervention of gods or supernatural forces, but just that something outside of the self (nature, other humans, etc.) is necessary for us to see the error of being completely selfish. As a Christian, I believe it is necessary for Christ to intervene in order for us to bring about any type of new eden or utopian society, but not necessarily through the means of a literal second coming. This is a mere conjecture, a weak theory, but I'll share it anyways. I believe it is possible that the second coming is through His body, the church, finally realizing it's form and acting as the body of Christ through and through. I think even if you disagree with the part about Christ, and would say it just takes humans entering into each other's lives and teaching one another about love and peace and self-sacrifice, we wouldn't be too far apart in our beliefs.

Anyhow, I guess that's what I got most from this book. The fact that the only way we can prevent ourselves from complete annihilation is through miraculous intervention. And I think that is part of what Walter M. Miller Jr. was trying to say as well. Even in the novel's ending (which I wouldn't dare reveal here)* there is hope for some form of miracle to save humanity.

This was a great book, with countless other lessons to learn from it. Everyone with a brain should check it out.

*I found this a funny thing for me to say, since I only know one person who reads this blog regularly. Who would I be ruining the ending for?

Damascus Nights

I finished Damascus nights last Wednesday and decided to wait on posting my final words about the book. I was testing the lasting power of the book's impact on my life. It was a great book. I don't know if it stands up to many of the classics I have been reading lately, but it definitely is worth reading if you ever get the chance.

The story was the perfect amount of fantasy and truth. The way it did this was by placing a very small fantasy plotline into a story of modern living in the city of Damascus. There was very little magic or mystery in the story, but the one magic thing that happened opened your eyes to the stories that Salim and his friends tell. The morals of their stories are sometimes ambiguous and sometimes obvious, but the parables themselves gave me hints of spirituality that made the book incredibly rewarding to read. The characters in the book were all sympathetic and likable. By the end of the novel I wanted them to be my friends, or perhaps for the book to be the first in an indefinite series of books involving these characters.

It is always exciting for me to experience new cultures through literature. I had never really read anything set in the Middle East or written by an author from the region, so this was like a whole new world to me.* The story even touched on that a bit when one character told stories of America and none of the other characters would believe the things he said. The best of that was his story of trying to barter in department store in New York City. As I said before, the stories that were being told sometimes had simple and childish morals that were written to remind you of them in a creative way. Sometimes the stories had larger themes and were focused politics rather than simple morality. Those stories were usually very tragic and affected me in a more intimate way ( i.e. Made me want to learn more or get involved with solving the probles mentioned).

Anyhow, enough Jibber jabber. Great read! Check it out!


*(Funny that I said "a whole new world" because the story of Aladdin and the seven theives is in the book A Thousand and One Nights which is one of this author's main influences. This was done completely by accident.)

Damascus Nights notable joke

"There are these two assassins hiding right outside the presidential palace. They're waiting for the president to come out, and their fingers are glued to the triggers of their pistols. Well the whole day goes by, but this president never leaves the palace. So the assassins keep waiting. The next day comes and goes, and still no sign of the president. Then the third day comes and the same thing happens. By now the men are pretty upset.

'Where the hell can he be?' Asks one.

The other man turns to his companion, full of concern, and says,

'God, I hope nothing's happened to him!'"

Damascus Nights notable quote

"You should use your head and learn: never tell everything you know."

Damascus Nights

While bored at The White Pine today I picked up one of Caleb's books hoping to find something to entertain me on this slow day. The book I chose to start was one called Damascus Nights by Rafik Schami, and it has so far (78 pages) been a very rewarding choice. Lately I have been constantly listening to the latest MeWithoutYou album "It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright!" which has a few very meaningful songs written in the old Eastern storytelling style. Listening to this has caused me to be more interested in reading old fables and parables, so when I saw this book in Caleb's book corner I decided to check it out. The story is about a man who is the town of Damascus' best storyteller. He has a community of good friends who meet at his house every night to hear his stories. One night a woman's voice wakes him from his sleep to tell him that she is his story telling fairy, that it has been her all along that has helped him to be such a great story teller. She then tells him that she has to leave and take his voice with her, and that the only way to regain his voice is to receive seven certain gifts within three months. His friends attempt to find these seven gifts with food, perfumes, wines and many other items. What they finally decide is that the gifts must be stories told by the seven friends to the man who has been telling them stories throughout the years. So far I have read one of their fables and am looking forward to the remaining six that make up the rest of the book.

The first story had a character that not only had lost his voice, but also every method of communication. He sold his entire voice (vocal, gestural, and even his eyes were silent) so to feed his wife, who married him because she loved his beautiful voice. The story then became a three way chase with the man chasing the wizard who bought his voice and the wife chasing the husband whom she still loved. I wouldn't want to reveal too much of the story because it is definitely worth reading for yourself.

What I want to say about this book so far is that it really does illuminate the importance of good storytelling. It is interesting to me to read a story that is written incredibly down to earth, but also completely mythical at the same time. The way the author presents the story is in a way where none of the characters are shocked by or in disbelief of the stories being told. The stories are spiritual and meaningful, yet completely false and impractical. Now, I understand that this is certainly not a new type of writing, and that it is in fact probably one of the oldest forms of fiction in history, but it interests me how little we hear these types of stories as adults. As children we hear mythical tales all the time through numerous types of media, but as adults in our culture we seldom hear these types of parables and take them seriously. Probably most of the mythical stories that Disney has turned into full length cartoons were originally written for adults and children alike, and written to be seriously considered instead of merely enjoyed as a novelty. Obviously the subtle ways we disengage ourselves from the importance of storytelling is a major divide between Eastern and Western cultures, but it is still strange to me how easily we write off the childish fiction of a man selling his voice to a wizard as something to laugh at or a method of teaching children morality. Perhaps if our culture embraced mythology as a core learning tool for all ages we would be better as a whole at virtuous things like honesty and forgiveness, and perhaps learn to value the things we have like our ability to communicate with one another.

The 5000 Year Leap

This was a book that my dad wanted me to read. It was about the founding of the constitution and how the establishment of that document and the 28 principles it was founded on has given mankind a technological and sociological leap of 500o years. Basically it seems that it was written as a text book for people who want to believe that the founding fathers of the United States were gods among men and staunchly conservative politicians and that the U.S. is God's country and other things I completely don't understand. I have many problems with the book, one of which being his writing style, yet I am glad I read it for the sake of knowing the political perspective of many of the people in this area. I don't really want to write a response to the book, I just wanted to cement the fact that I had read the book in my blog for historical purposes.

Cat's Cradle

Another recently read book was Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s Cat's Cradle. This was another novel about the nature of human beings. It focused on the two subjects of modernized warfare and politicized religion. The creation of the atom bomb (also of the fake substance ice-nine) is completed by a character that has no interest in any normal social behavior. He is a scientist that cares only to tinker with things and play, and not with the repercussions of his actions. The U.S. military takes advantage of this by giving him ideas to tinker around with until he invents something that can benefit their cause. Hence the creation of the atom bomb and the creation of ice-nine, a substance that was made because the general of the Marines was tired of his men crawling around in the mud, but didn't realize that solving the problem of mud would in essence be the end of the world as we know it. As we explore the mind of Felix Hoenikker through the narrator's interviews of people around him, we also learn about the government of San Lorenzo and the history of that nations political and religious system. The government was founded by two men who wanted to create a sort of utopia for the people there. They first invent a religion based on lies (lies that are admitted lies that you can better your life through believing) and then attempt to spread it together. When they realize that religion is best practiced under persecution one of the founders is "chased" into the jungle and the other places a ban on the practice of said religion (Bokononism). Because of this Bokononism is accepted by all who live on the island as their religion. At the end of the novel, the sons and daughters of Felix Hoenikker give away their inheritance of ice-nine for personal gain and it is used by one of those to whom it was given. After it is used the world is introduced to a new ice age, where bokononists are encouraged to end their sufferings by eating the ice-nine that surrounds them.

I have really enjoyed all of Kurt Vonnegut's novels that I have read and this one was not an expection. His ability to reflect reality in a ridiculous and humorous way while still giving a highly refined and sensitive perspective on life is something that reaches me on levels much higher than true religious or socially sensitive works. The critique of modern science was dead on and the idea of religion being a lie, yet worth it for the qualitiy of life, is actually a great reflection of how I can sometimes view my own spirituality when I am in doubt. Not that I completely give in to my doubts, but that I am comforted by the idea that even if it all turns out false in the end, I am a better person because of my faith.

It is hard for me to reflect on a novel when I have so few criticisms, so I would say that how I feel about the book is completely communicated within the pages of Cat's Cradle. So if you are interested in how I summed up the book, you should just read it.

Candide

I recently read the short novel Candide by Voltaire. This was a unique story about the nature of mankind written by a very pessimistic philosopher. In the story the main character, Candide, goes through numerous ridiculous and depressing situations, losing friends and family and lovers along the way. All through these situations Candide believes that everything that happens is good and providential because that was what he was taught by his mentor. "All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds." is his and his mentor, Pangloss'es motto. By the end of the book each one of his friends is thought to have been killed by some tragic end, but then discovered to have survived whatever incident had befallen them. By the end of the novel everything seems to have turned out the way Candide had wanted it, but it is concluded with Candide being unhappy and unsatisfied with the perfect life of which he had dreamed.

The story was very comical and I enjoyed reading it, but I cannot claim to agree with Voltaire's position of the human condition. It seems in the end that he believes that life is just a series of unfortunate events that we were merely placed into and are expected to live through. Although Candide and his mentor are both unwavering optimists, by the end of the book you see that they are both fools that cannot be believed. Even Candide himself resigns that their motto that all is for the best is not truly the case in this or any other world.

Candide was written as a response to infamous "the problem of evil", and leaves the reader just as confused and indecisive as any college course on the subject would. My personal beliefs on this subject is that we don't see "evil" in it's proper form. Pain and death are not evil, they are natural. What we should be questioning is the nature of man and how we are the creator's of pain and suffering through selfishness and ignorance. This could be a world that doesn't have evil if all could realize that our purpose on life is to love one another.

Northline

Northline by Willy Vlautin is a very sad book. It was also a quick and captivating read. This is the second novel I have read by this author and I was not disappointed. His dialogue is believable, his narration is sensitive and his characters are relatable and lovable. I think Willy Vlautin may be destined to be to Reno and the rest of the high western desert what Faulkner was for the South. When I read his books I feel as if I see these characters everyday. When he introduces a character, I usually place a common face seen down at Pete's or 1918 Lounge in the place of his descriptions. That is a quality that made Northline much more sad, yet much more life altering than it could have been. Needless to say, this was a great book with a touching and moving story. (It also came with a pretty sweet soundtrack. A book with a soundtrack, who knew?)

Northline was written from the prospective of a young woman who has crippling social anxiety. She has an awful speed addicted boyfriend that is abusive. She lies to everyone around her to avoid any type of self exposure, and she runs from all of her problems by drinking enough alcohol to create more problems from which to run. Allison is one of the most flawed and self afflicting characters I have seen in a long time, and yet she is also one of the most used and abused as well. The story is about her attempting to fight against herself and her antagonists by moving to Reno and detaching herself from her shady past completely. Along the way she meets many characters that are as depressed and victimized as herself, but many of them have some sort of coping mechanism that she lacks.

After reading this book there wasn't much interpretation to be done, it is pretty straightforward. Vlauting introduces us to some of the most disgusting sides of our culture's lower class and doesn't judge most of the people involved. He merely gives us a realistic view into the lives of those we see and choose to ignore or don't understand. We get to make up our own minds about whether Allison is a weak individual destined for failure or a victim to be cared for or an immoral degenerate to be avoided. All of those things are likely, and not one of them is completely true, this is why the novel is so compelling to me. It is intensly real, and intensly senstive. I don't have much else to say except that anyone reading this should probably go pick up a copy soon. Or just borrow mine.

Naked Lunch

I couldn't handle this one. I got about 70 pages through in an afternoon and my brain exploded. I know there is some sort of redeeming value to it, like scared straight or something, but I know I am not going to try heroin any time soon. You figure with all the literature and films and songs about the insanity that revolves around that drug people would have stopped using it by now. I think it is disturbing that some people actually celebrate the culture of it.

I think I need to take a shower.

The Razor's Edge

"The sharp edge of a razor is difficult to pass over; thus the wise say the path to Salvation is hard."

That is the epigraph at the beginning of The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham. The novel is about the spiritual journey of a young American searching to reconcile the existence of a higher creative power with the existence of evil. The story is based on a supposedly real young man and his circle of friends, including Maugham himself who narrates the story from his own limited point of view. The Razor's Edge chronicles nearly twenty years of Larry Darrell's search for meaning in the world. You not only get to know Larry through Maugham's prospective, but also through numerous other characters whom the author used to diversify the view of Larry's spiritual quest. It is hard to say how much of the book is based on actual people or real occurrences because he writes as an involved reporter would, but still claims the book as a novel. Also the poetic nature of each characters life lends me to believe that he fudged on reality quite a bit to make this a true work of literature.

I enjoyed the novel quite a bit and couldn't help but compare my own life to the life of Larry, a man who shunned the American way of working hard and making a fortune to pursue a life of unending inquiry and piety. Obviously I have not left the country for solitude and study, nor have I refused marriage and unnecessary material possessions for the complete independence Larry believes is necessary for spiritual transcendence, but I still relate myself to him because he does not easily cave to the social norms that are being pressured upon him by those around him and his ability to ignore the material world that consumes and eventually ruins those around him. I am no where near Larry in many aspects, and I wouldn't want to be either. He sees independence and complete earthly freedom as spiritual transcendence, this view abandons human connection and tends to be so self focused that the relationships formed are genuine while being disposable. I believe that people need each other and that God created us to love one another and not to attempt to become one with the Almighty through clear and complete focus on the self.

The Razor's Edge is a worthy novel for anyone interested in a unique view of spirituality. I think anyone who reads it will see themselves in at least one of the characters presented and hopefully learn a thing or two about who they are or could be.

Lutherans. Who knew?

Diana and I went to a Lutheran Church today (Trinity Lutheran Church). It was the second time we had been to a Lutheran Sunday service and was a good experience for me. I have always appreciated the ritual involved in liturgy focused protestant churches. It, to me, emphasizes historical unity with the church as well as unity with the current global church. I enjoy the communal lessons and the congregational participation. I was emotionally moved by their emphasis on being gracious and generous, it was nice to visit a church that was very outwardly focused instead of the often inward focused message I have experienced at most evangelical churches. It is hard because, being raised in a Nazarene environment, I feel uncomfortable with the stiffness of the service, and yet I do very much love it and see why it is done. I feel like once I am used to the process of the Sunday service, I would be able to get very much out of it, and feel a deeper satisfaction than I have felt from past church experiences.

Angle of Repose, Pt. 2

I just finished the novel from my previous post, Angle of Repose. This is a sort of historic novel that chronicles the marriage of Oliver and Susan Ward. It is sort of historic because it is directly based on the letters of Mary Hallock Foote, the wife of engineer Arthur De Wint Foote (designer of the Arrow Rock Damn and Boise's irrigation system), but the author narrates from the prospective of their grandson and takes enough liberties with the story to make it a clear work of fiction. Apparently there is controversy surrounding the book because Stegner used direct quotes from the letters of Mrs. Foote, but did not credit where he used those quotations. The story chronicles about 30 years of the couple's marriage. The couple were Eastern Americans that moved into the Western frontier in order to establish Oliver as an engineer, but ended up staying in the West. Oliver became a regular frontier man while Susan reject the rough Western culture by attempting to retain her status as a lady of gentility.

It is frequently noted throughout the novel that it is not about the couple's children, the west, engineering or the narrator (who constantly interjects into the novel facts about his own life), but it also can't help but be about all those things. The novel obviously makes connections between the marriage of the Wards and all the previously mentioned things that the book is not about, when in fact it is about all those things and much more. The story of the Wards marriage is written with the underlying hint that all the world is constantly a repetition of the past. We will all make the same mistakes as our parents, grandparents, and neighbors while our children can't help but follow in our footsteps. The end of the novel does not leave out hope for humanity to change it's ways, but it doesn't tell us if the change we hope for happens or not.

I enjoyed the beginnings of Oliver and Susan Ward's relationship and was looking forward to seeing them prosper into a Victorian family to look up to as role models, but as the book went by and the title Angle of Repose became more clear I realized that this story is much more realistic than I had wanted it to be. I wished for a happy ending and was given something else. Not an unhappy ending, but something other than a joyful conclusion.

The story had so much to say about the Frontier culture, the Victorian American culture, and current culture that it is hard to write about each theme of the novel without writing about the next so I will try to keep this theme analysis short. It seemed to me that one fo the major themes I thought about while reading this book was the dependence the Victorian lady had from her husband. The dependence was accepted as necessary to both Oliver and Susan, but was obviously trying to their relationship. After many failures in Oliver's career, Susan began to resent him for not giving her the life a true noblewoman deserves, the fact that she depended so much on him for her happiness and well being was sickening to read at times and was possibly the reason I had times where I struggled to read at a good pace. Susan was not without her talents, she was an illustrator and published author that was able to support the family while her husband was out of work or foregoing a paycheck, but having to use her own skills and money to support the family caused an obvious resentment between the couple. This to me is a very common thing that can still cause major problems in relationships today. Marriage is still not always seen as an equal partnership. It is commonly seen as an extended fatherhood or a way for a woman to survive in the world. If the husband is not offering a livable salary and the wife has to work it is commonly viewed as unideal. The husband is usually still seen as the provider and protector, while the wife is the helpless caretaker that can offer great things to the family, but not to the world at large. I feel a sadness that this is still commonly part of marriages in our modern times because it devalues both the male and the female involved in the relationship and puts unwanted expectations on both husband and wife. Perhaps someday we could get over this view of marriage, but I don't know if I will ever see the day.

To conclude, I thought this was a great novel. It gave me much to think about and analyze while being written with an entertaining voice. I could probably write a much longer analysis of the novel if I wanted to, so perhaps we will see a part three to this post.

P.S. I want to look like Wallace Stegner when I am his age. (or right now).

Angle of Repose Pt. 1

I am currently through a little over half of this large novel. It will probably be the longest novel I have ever read at only 569 pages. I suppose I have read a few books that are in the 400 page realm, but finishing this will truly feel like an accomplishment. The novel is a historical story of an engineer and his genteel wife living in the western United States in the late 1800's. This is the second novel I have read this month with a hefty amount about romantic relationships. Also the second novel with a female heroin, coincidence? I am not sure. I didn't know that either book would be either romantic or have a female main character, so it must be coincidence. I don't have too much to say about the book at this moment. I just wanted to write a little bit because it has been so long since I have finished a book and written a reflection on it.

It has been a strange read for me, because it has been at times both addicting and hard to get into. I am not sure why that is, but something about Stegner's prose makes me love reading as well as eagerly await completion so I don't have to read any longer. I think it might just be a case of wild mood swings or something, but usually I can either read a book nonstop forever or barely get through one. This one I can either barely get through or read nonstop. I am just as confused about it as this paragraph is confusing.

Anyhow, full analysis of Angle of Repose coming soon....

Seize The Day

Seize the Day is possibly the most depressing book I have ever read. I would place it in the same category as The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. It is the story of a middle aged man who has failed at everything he has tried. He was a failed actor, a failed husband, a failed salesman, and a failure in his father's eyes. The story follows him as he spends the last of his money gambling on the stock market with a untrusted "expert" trader. As you read through this story you find that he is looking for something that no one has given him, and that is love and kindness. Each character he encounters or reminisces about wants something from him he cannot offer or wishes him harm. The story is focused on themes of loneliness and despair as you see Wilhelm (the main character) at his last straw and beyond. The story ends with just as much depression as it had in the beginning.

I didn't have much thought or emotion while reading this book, and I don't know if I would recommend it to anybody unless they first showed interest in it. Although it was well written, I was constantly reading with the feeling that I couldn't wait for it to be over. I may have learned somethings from it, but I will have to think about it for a while before I could easily share what those things may be.

"The Greatest Man in the World"

I just finished reading "The Greatest Man in the World" a short story by James Thurber. I don't know much about the guy, but I think I might try to learn more about him soon. Apparently from the brief biography the preceded this story he had a penchant for comedic writings, and this short story certainly gave me plenty of laughs. It is the story of a man who flew all the way around the world without stopping once (in the era of Lindbergh when this was considered a feat). After this daring adventure he was heralded as a hero, but to the surprise to the press and politicians of his day he had few heroic qualities about him. He was rude, a former criminal, a womanizer, greedy, disrespectful to authority, and just a bad sport overall. He disrespected all pilots who had flown before him and ridiculed two Frenchmen who had recently died attempting to cross the Atlantic by plane. The press decided to hide him from the public and continue championing him as the greatest man in the world while he recovered from the physical beating he got from the two weeks in the air without sleep. When he was ready for the public, he first had a party thrown for him in a highrise in New York. After disrespecting the whole of the party and failing to recognize the President of the United States, he went to the window to shout out his greatness to the world. Sadly, one of the party's patrons decided (with the President's inaudible permission) to push the man out of the window, thus ending the question of how to maintain his hero status. The funeral was lavish and the "hero" (who was disliked by most in his hometown and by his family) was celebrated and mourned by the public.

The story was written in a very comic and fun way. Usually the role of the press or politicians is of the villian in literature, but in this case they were merely disguising the truth to protect the public from this brash personality. In the end, I was dissappointed that the world didn't get to see their "hero" for what he was. I wanted the lie to be exposed so that all could know that great achievement isn't always the result of great character, but I suppose this ending was more realistic for the setting. The heroes of the early 1900's could never do wrong. Whether it be the American soldiers in the World Wars or the view of the "perfect" family that existed in that time. Americans tended to hide their bad sides and always praise those who succeeded. I guess my hope is that those who read this story now will realize that we all have a little bit of "The Greatest Man in the World" in them, and that we all shouldn't necessarily be pushed out of the window because of it.

Still Life with Woodpecker

Today I finished Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins. It was my first time reading a story by the infamous Mr. Robbins and I enjoyed the experience. His narrative voice was fun and playful, but his topics were thought provoking and meaningful. Still Life with Woodpecker is a modern fairytale. It is a romance between two redheads who believe their flaming hair is not just a genetic trait; it is an entitlement to a lifestyle beyond social norms. Woodpecker is an anarchist outlaw, constantly establishing himself as more than just a criminal with a cause or a social disease. His reason for disobeying the rules and laws of society has no purpose or goal. His reason for being criminal is to cause general unrest among communities and most of all: to spend the life he has doing what he pleases. Throughout the fairy-tale, Woodpecker does not change. He is constant, never without his matches and dynamite (except a few instances out of his control). Princess Leigh-Cheri is a political exile from the country of Mu. She is an evolving character that begins the fairy-tale as a celibate environmentalist, but goes through enough worldview changes to fill this blog. The most enduring of her character traits is her undying crush on none other than Mr. Ralph Nader, hero to the progressive world. Her attic decor includes numerous posters of the left's righteous poster boy. The story weaves these two characters together in an unexpected knit of romance and adventure. I am not commonly inspired into feeling romantic by stories of this nature (if anything philosophy brings out the romance for me), but Woodpecker and the Princess certainly have made me feel closer to my partner in crime. Sure, the love scenes were awkward and overly detailed, but they didn't leave me with the usual disgusted voyeuristic feeling that Palahniuk and Vonnegut constantly drop on me unexpectedly. The scenes were unclassy (and did I mention awkward), but within them Robbins made sure to know that it was all rooted in a form of true love (even though Woodpecker would scoff to know that I described it that way.) I'm not going to get all deep and technical like I have in past book reflections, but I will say that Robbins did a good job expressing and encouraging a feeling of love for his readers.

Oh yeah. He also created a love inside me for the original packaging of Camel ciggarettes. I even went out and bought a pack. Too bad I was a year late, they dramatically changed the pack design for the first time in years in 2008. Ah well, I guess that keeps me from wanting to purchase multiple packs.

Happy Birthday, Wanda June!

Earlier this week myself and a group of my friends sat down together with glasses of wine and read a play aloud. We decided who would get which parts by drawing character names from a hat. We decided (actually it was just my decision, I never though to ask anyone else) that we would read "Happy Birthday, Wanda June!", a play written by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. I will write about what I thought of the play in a moment, but I did want to say that I think this is the nerdiest thing I have done in many many years (if not the nerdiest think I have done in my entire life). But despite the embarrassment that we could have had, we all did it without being ashamed. I believe it was just planned so fast that we didn't have time to think about what our highschool aged selves would have thought about our actions, and that was a good thing.

"Happy Birthday, Wanda June!" was a play that was supposed to be a modern retelling of the return of Odysseus from his long journey to find his son miserable and his wife being courted by numerous men. But it would misleading if I did not say that the play was nothing like the story told in the Odyssey (as pointed out numerous times by Shaun King). That didn't bother me too much because I wasn't expecting it to be anything predictable. I don't think I have ever ready anything by Kurt Vonnegut that was expected. I think one of the few similarities between the ancient story and the modern play was that each character was a in the same situation as their counterpart. Odysseus and Harold were both returning from a long adventure that was supposed to have taken their lives. Penelope and modern Penelope are both being pursued by suitors and about to decide which will be her new husband. Telemachus and Paul are both unhappy with the suitors and the replacement of their father figure. Even the personalities of the characters are similar, but Vonnegut definitely gives them more consistent character flaws and realistic responses to circumstance (Harold is violent like Odysseus, but his violent nature isn't celebrated or exaggerated as heroism; Penelope has emotional issues with the return of Harold). Despite those few similarities, the two stories are barely recognizable as related.

Throughout the story Vonnegut explores how different philosophies interact with another. There are many different places to find the characters arguing about feminism vs. traditional chauvinism and subtle things of that nature, but the biggest philosophical argument in the story is pacifism vs. violence. One of the suitors is a doctor and pacifist while Harold is a violent man who takes what he wants and has killed or will kill to survive. I probably wouldn't have noticed this if it weren't for the intro from Vonnegut, but in the end the moral was that both men have correct philosophies. Vonnegut had written in his introduction that he wanted to write a play where every character thought they were right all the time and actually were right all the time even though they conflicted with one another. Harold is correct that the way he lives his life gives him great happiness and power, but Woodly (the Pacifist) is also correct that his way of life is better for humanity. Their final argument is the climax of the play and the way it ends is that both men are a joke in themselves. Harold is a joke because he hates himself for not dying because he views death as the greatest honor for a man of violence, and Woodly is a joke because his pacifism is a reflection of his cowardice. I am not sure if I know for sure that this was a theme of the play, but it is not uncomm0n for Kurt Vonnegut's message to be that we are all living within the context of a big cruel joke. We are all inconsistent and compromise our values without remorse. We all know that who we are and what we stand for is just a reflection of our fears and weaknesses. What we value is what we think will keep us alive longest, not what truly has value. I do not necessarily agree with Vonnegut's moral, that we are all living a lie, but I do think the picture he paints of humanity is a valid portrait of our nature. We can all be violent pacifists, and chauvenist feminists, and Christian Nihilists, and..........

The Wire

As all of my friends and family know, I am a big fan of a certain crime drama that was on HBO from 2002 to 2008. I finished the final season today and have officially seen the show in it's entirety. I can honestly say that I believe it is one of the most interesting and educational shows I have seen in my entire life. Although it did have a lot of the commonly found faults of T.V. script writing (lousy one liners, sometimes unbelievable plot twists), the show was a very real and believable story about the nature of perceived good vs. evil. The show also depicts American city workings, government and communities in a very unflattering way, but continues to show the good with the bad. Although one gets the sense that things are broken in our society, hope for the better is always dangled within reach. This is the realism that is so intense in The Wire, there is evil and good in each character and decision that is made. This was a very quick way to sum up the show and doesn't really give it justice, but whatever... I am not writing this to recommend The Wire, just to express what I got from watching the show.

I am always intrigued with the duality of human nature and the Wire gave me plenty to think about regarding this dynamic of humanity. All of us are flawed, but it seems to me that we all want what is considered good in our own realities.

Take how humans view wealth for example. Some people believe that security and prosperity are good and strive to get these things for themselves and their family while hoping others can also be secure and prosperous. Although they care for others, they would rather see a less fortunate person find their own prosperity instead of donating their money. They wouldn't see a handout helping anyone learn to be prosperous (or good), they would rather teach them to fish(or to the extremist it would be better for nature to force them to learn to fish for survival). To be good is to be an example to others how to be self-sufficient, to be bad would be to accept handouts and not work for what you receive. Being charitable isn't good and accepting charity is worse.

Some people believe the opposite and view money and power as bad things. They see greed and selfishness as the only way to become prosperous. To be good in their eyes one is to give and receive freely without hoarding or worrying about your own personal security. To be evil would be to see someone suffering and not immediately attempt to resolve what is tormenting them by giving time, resources or money. Goodness could be defined by being completely selfless and avoiding wealth and power.

Still other people may be in the middle and believe prosperity exists outside of morality. Morality is only measured when you decide what to do with your money/influence/etc. If you can evenly distribute your time and resources between security and charity then you are making moral decisions. If you hoard your resources and give nothing to those in need you are being immoral, but also if you give irresponsibly and don't take care of yourself and your family you are being equally immoral. Being balanced is good, being imbalanced is bad.

All three of these ideas define the other's view on prosperity as a bad way to think. People of each mindset act differently, but each one considers itself good. I can say that I understand each one of these philosophies, but I cannot say which one is "good" when it comes down to it. The gray option is almost always the safest bet, but I don't know if being perfectly balanced is ever a sustaining position. We all tip one way or another. Even if we could achieve perfect balance or perfectly represent our philosophy on prosperity we would still doing good in our own minds and not necessarily everyone elses.

We blur the lines between good and evil simply by how we view others and by how others view us.

This is basically just a repeat of an ethics lesson I had last year, but that's why I liked the Wire. It was a T.V. show that gave me an opportunity to explore reality in a deeper way. How often does that happen?

Troubled Sleep pt. 1

"Americans do not enjoy the process of thinking. When they do concentrate it is in order to escape all thought."
-Jean Paul Sartre

This is an observation made by a French character in the novel "Troubled Sleep". In the scene Paris has just been overrun by the Nazis in WWII and no one in New York is reacting except two men in a French cafe. The two characters spent the day trying to find somebody who will share their despair, but are only able to find each other after a full day of dealing with Americans who have little care for the demise of Paris.

The quote struck me because it is something I have constantly thought, but not as clearly as this is stated. I know few people outside of my own generation that watch movies for more than just entertainment(escape), and I seldom meet people who read books that have heavy, scary, or challenging themes(engagement). I am sure that this is an exaggeration and not to be taken seriously, but I think it is something that is still true for many people. I have been in many an argument about why I don't like movies or books that reflect and assume a type of positivity that I don't think is valid when truly evaluating how the world works. That type of writing presents something that in my opinion has no benefit for the listener because it is a method that gives them artificial positivity. This sounds harsh. I am not against all forms of positivity in art or media, but I think there needs to be a diversity (in what is studied/viewed/read) that represents the full experience of life. And that if positivity is the subject of an expression it needs to be realistic positivity that doesn't give people a false sense of the world around them (i.e. disney movies where everything in the end is perfect).

In conclusion, I think engagement in negative feelings (sadness, despair, anger) is an important part of the human existence. Americans are known to ignore reality and escape their problems into a state of false happiness, but this does not always have to be the case. Lets all start a campaign against the evil of ignoring reality for the benefit of our emotions, and begin engaging the negativity in the world in order to understand it and give it a realistic positive response. Thank you.