Will there be a sunrise this Summer?

From the bathroom

I heard weeping

in the kitchen.

I knew before

this telling, uncontrollable

expression had occurred.

She was ready

and out the

door in moments.

The two were

gone and I

was left alone.

One will return,

the other goes

home to weep

with her husband

who can't help

but suffer unknowing

of the pain

the bearer of

children goes through.

God gave life

unexpected. He took

life without petition.

We ask, "Will

there be a

sunrise this Summer?"

David Bazan - Curse Your Branches

The Passion of David Bazan

If you read this blog post, I advise you to first read the article "The Passion of David Bazan" linked above. If you don't read that article, this post might make less sense than I would like it.

I read this article today, but by some cosmic coincidence already have the new David Bazan album "Curse Your Branches". The article is about David Bazan's recent abandonment of traditional Christianity and his venture into agnosticism. The album is a very poignant criticism of not only the Christian faith, but of the God who put us on this earth. I am assuming this album will scare away any more of the lingering conservative Christian fanbase that Bazan's former band Pedro the Lion has built and welcome a larger fanbase of "post-Christians" looking for someone who is writing from a doubtful standpoint without the pompous and judgmental language usually used to put down the Christian faith. Not to say that all Christians that were fans of Pedro the Lion won't appreciate this new album, just that those who are akin to listening to albums approved by Christian culture and deemed "uplifting" will certainly shy away from the dark and depressing content sung in "Curse Your Branches". I hope this doesn't happen, but it is bound to be what will happen based on lyrics like in the song Curse Your Branches: "if You bully her like you've done me with fear of damnation / Then I hope she can see You for what You are." Bazan is clearly not just exploring doubtful feelings, but actually calling out the God of pop-Christianity and asking for a fight.

I would just like to share what David Bazan's music has meant to me over the years and what his latest album has said to me. Here is a little bit of background on my experiences with Pedro the Lion (David Bazan's former monicker). I first started listening to him when Control came out. This was the first album of his to really shake up the Christian music world because it included songs about adultery in a hotel room, murder, a priest denouncing his faith, and worst of all in the last song he said the word "shit." So because I was a latecomer to his music I have never really seen him as some sort of goody-two-shoes who wrote praise music for the Christian consumer. I wasn't shocked or hurt when he released albums that said "fuck" or explored his doubts about the Christian religion. I have always thought his lyricism and music made a perfect balance and his art has influenced my life in a big way. He is one of the only musicians that I feel like I want to talk to, instead of just enjoy from afar.

The reason he has had such a large impact on my life is because of his sometimes brutal honesty about the world around him. He writes songs and albums about the parts of life that aren't always clean and that don't end very positively. He explored the pain that we see every day, and the sins that we try so hard to avoid but can't always keep off our backs. He said things like "Wouldn't it be so wonderful if everything were meaningless. But everything is so meaningful,and most everything turns to shit. Rejoice." What Christian author or musician has the guts to sum up their entire work with something so honest and gut wrenching? Some might say a Christian wouldn't do that, because that negativity about life isn't a very uplifting thing to ponder, but what Christian hasn't thought something similar without the rejoice at the end? Bazan wasn't scared to let the listener decide what they want about what to do when "most everything turns to shit". He didn't end the album with a promise of better days or an alternative way to stop bad things from happening, he just let it resonate in his listener. Thinking about things like that line is what has kept my faith in God so strong. I thought about how I could intercede in other's lives to stop everything from turning to shit. I thought about how rejoicing amidst the shit was a way to communicate your suffering to God. I've been spurred to think about trenches of life time and time again by countless Bazan lyrics over the years, and have been enriched and refined because of it. To me, a Pedro the Lion album is more spiritual than pretty much any other musicians work I can recall. It is honest and grating, unlike any praise song I could hear in a modern church that demands I sing along and agree instead of listen and respond. That is what his music and poetry has done for me, it gives me a chance to listen and respond to serious issues that I feel demand attention. Singing "I love you, Jesus" over and over again doesn't solve problems or grow faith, it merely gives you self-satisfaction or tells Jesus something he probably already knows is true (or not true). Sure, sometimes we need to say things like that, but those times aren't spiritual in my experience, they are merely emotional. Maybe I am just not at a point in my faith where I can be satisfied with "I Love you, Jesus". I am satisfied spiritually when I have the opportunity learn more about Him and His creation, which is one thing that David Bazan and other gritty and honest writers have given me.

So I guess I am not going to say too much about his latest album, but I will say that despite the fact that he no longer considers himself a Christian, he is still challenging me to interact deeper with God through his honest questioning and desire to understand more about the root of our existence. He still writes important words that demand our attention.

With this album he will very likely lose his Christian audience, and that is the saddest thing about his loss of faith. I think his soul is still fine, as he told the Cornerstone audience. I am not in fear that he will be damned for his doubts. The tragedy is that the Christian world still has a lot to learn from him, but will most likely shut him out after the release of this album.